Final leg.

We take a train from Verona to Innsbruck. It curves through gorgeous mountains in a way that would make Harry Potter and classmates jealous. But unlike Harry and his real magic, we find Innsbruck comes off a little too Disney for us. And it might just be that the top tourist attraction truly is a tourist attraction. The Swarovski crystal company is located there and they offer a shuttle from downtown to their sprawling complex. But rather than see how crystals are made or anything remotely scientific, you get to see 17 art installations inspired by famous artists and designers. The real kick in the pants is when you find yourself in a gift shop larger than Costco and arranged so you have to zigzag through every aisle. The Disney comparison isn’t far off, turns out they have crystal Mickey and Minnie and Yoda and Vader.

The center town has a Christmas market still going after New Year’s. They have snowy mountains so I guess they get to milk the holiday a little longer than most locales. And the downtown riverside is adorable, it’s just that we’ve traded homemade pasta for schnitzel and spaetzle (reminder, my name is Salvatore, not Hans). And maybe it isn’t fair of me, after all, we just came from Verona, not a Turkish prison. Had it been the latter, this review would have been far more glowing.

But the real issue with Austria is that one of us is not mature enough to go there. Just take a look.

And the other of us acts like she’s more mature but still snickers and giggles like a little girl.

If there is anything you should have learned about these adventures it is: as you go through life don’t forget to stop and look at the street signs. That, and skip all light shows in Innsbruck…holy cow, 20 minutes of life…evaporated. Here’s a picture of me, bored to death.

Okay, that was an Egyptian mummy seen in a museum in Trieste, but trust me, I looked just like that.

One last thing for the health food junkies, some Austrian breakfast joints have “waffles” that are really cake donuts cooked in the shape of waffles – I highly recommend two or three after your morning angioplasty.

Cheers!